Sunday, January 30, 2011

I wish I was an Artist

I haven't really shared too much of my "artistic background" on this blog. I guess part of it is because some of my hobbies have become a bit neglected lately. When I came to Ireland 3 years ago I decided I would not spend as much time drawing and designing clothing, as I wanted to spend more time on developing my ability to play the guitar, but as it is I haven't really done that either.

I'm actually not sure what I want to do in the future. I used to have a great big burning passion for fashion as well as for music, but people around me haven't really been supportive and I have been told that it is unwise to go after dreams and careers where a big part of being able to do it depends on the fact that you have to "make it", and make it big time. 

I think and feel, and hope that my future has something artistic for me. I would hate to do an office job for the rest of my life, and at the moment I feel like I am suffering, because I'm stuck in doing something that I don't want to do. I should be studying something that I want to do in the future: fashion design, music, singing, photography. I should be saving money so that it is possible for me to study, but I haven't. I think partly because I'm a bit confused at the moment and feel a bit insecure.

I have always been artistic and I have always been one of those few people that stood out with my (perhaps run and untaimed, but still present) talent in school. I was always good at drawing, and I seemed to make people happy with my singing in school. 

When I was nine I remember watching a fashion show. I thought the clothes were horrendous but I felt this fire ligth inside of me and I got a huge fascination for what I saw. There and then I went and drew two models wearing two different outfits. I tried my hardest to draw the ugliest clothes that I could, as I thought that this was the way they were supposed to be dressed. Mind you, haute couture in the early 90's might give this impression for a small child!

Ever since then I have been drawing, particularly clothes. I have folders upon folders, and notebooks in a multitude back home in Finland, and they all contain thousands, if not tens of thousands, or even millions of small drawings and designs. 

When I was in my mid teens I  went to vocational school and studied to become a seamstress. I know my way around with a sewing machine, and I have the talent. The next step for me would be to apply to Beckmans in Sweden and the goal after that would be to apply for St Martin's in England. 

I don't know what will happen, which form of art I chose to follow, and how soon (please dear God, let it be soon!) but I hope that I'll regain some courage and get my shit together!

In the meantime, here are some of my drawings and doodles. My designs have been very cute, sweet and 50's inspired for the last year or two, as you can see. I hope you like my work!

P.S. Part of the reason why I haven't shared my designs on my blog is, well...

You know how people get overprotective of their work and feel that it will get copied and ripped off?

P.P.S. If any generous millionaires come across this posting, feel free to fund my studies at above mentioned schools so that I can start ASAP!

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