I was full of giddy excitement over the sunshine in my last posting of May. Two days later I did something which I didn't think I would do: I started sobbing my heart out in work.
I felt tears welling up in the corners of my eyes and did the expected runner for the privacy of the bathroom stalls. I had meant to calm down enough to return to my work but instead my sobs became harder as I tried to soundlessly cry into the tissues I was clutching into my red face.
After a considerable amount of time I made my way to my team leader's desk and quietly, with a bowed down head, asked if I could talk to him. Once we were in the conference room I started crying again as I just couldn't help myself and my team leader looked at me in stunned silence.
When you start crying at work and have to leave early it's usually a sign that things aren't going too well in your relationship.
It's a painful decision to make when you realize that you have to break up with somebody that you still love. It's just that tad bit more difficult when you make this realization two days before your birthday.
I mourned. I cried. Oh, did I cry! I couldn't stop crying. I stayed home from work for four days and returned to work on a Tuesday feeling no better than when I had left in tears.
From our first date something said *click* and everything felt so obvious and easy. I'm so grateful for experiencing the feelings which I did as he showed me what it's like to open your heart and let somebody in. In the end we were too different to work but I believe we met for a reason. We will remain friends.
I have a lot of memories of us and they will always be important to me. I will always remember.
Thank you John for showing me what love is.